Healthy relationship building

Updated: Sep 24, 2020

A note on women friendships and more ...

This blog is about all walks of friendships. They are not all the same. The idea of women empowerment and women's friendships was only recently welcomed and hyped by social media. Growing up in a low income environment, the social norm for women was to compete and not trust one another, especially among women of minority backgrounds. Instead of empowering one another we are pinned against each other, forced to compare, and a lot of us genuinely believe there could only be one of us to get the spotlight and succeed (eg., there can only be one queen per household). But that is not right. There's room for all of us.

Growing up I couldn't get away from these norms and they continued to shadow me throughout school, work, and majority of my adulthood. I almost felt as though I was forced to believe women were all like this and it was normal. I had friends that competed with me, lied to me, and made me feel bad about myself, and in retrospect, I was this kind of friend as well. It is so crucial for all of us women to recognize this unhealthy behavior and hold ourselves accountable for change. I've learned that to be friends with women of all backgrounds, you have to be honest, flexible, and vulnerable – many friendships have been lost because we were unable to hold ourselves accountable for being untrue.

On the other side of past learnings are healthy friendships waiting for you. Make space for it.

I've always been told that I look intimidating, and even had to fight to defend myself from other women and men who were jealous of me. But I never turn down being friends with women of any color. What makes friendships or any relationship for that matter strong, are the shared experiences we can teach one another, and understanding one another for our souls and not the color of our skin. Our skin is simply a shell that is fun to fix up and dress up every once in awhile. It's our souls that crave the connection and love from another human being. There's an unexplainable level of comfort that occurs when you can feel what the other woman or man is thinking. To me that is the undeniable soul connecting abilities we all have with one another.